Well most of us must have heard the word TOXIC in our life many times like Toxic waste, Toxic air, Toxicity in water, Toxic chemicals, Toxic environment etc. But can this word be associated with our relationships or the work culture we operate in on a daily basis?
Today I am again going to touch on a topic that impacts many of us but goes unnoticed as it is neither discussed nor validated in our daily personal and professional life.
Toxic Personality and Toxic Culture
It is about TOXIC PERSONALITIES in our personal and professional lives and TOXIC CULTURE in our workplace. When I was doing my research for my personal coaching practise I noticed that many people (including me) were unaware of the impact of toxic personalities and toxic culture in our lives and subconsciously associated them with our own weakness, our own bad luck, our own insecurities and our own bad work ethics and that are why when the coaching is done on their goals, vision and fulfilment in life, it didn’t produce the same results as it should be.
And when I went deep I found out many of those who are facing such issues as low self-esteem, suffocation, lack of enthusiasm, helplessness, being stuck somewhere, critical criticism disease and chronic stress etc. are actually having these issues because of someone toxic or something toxic in their lives. And because they didn’t know it existed, they could not identify it, they did not acknowledge it and visibly accepted it, and they never focused on that aspect.
But fortunately or unfortunately when I found myself in the situation (working with a toxic personality for more than 4 years) believe me – I can bet that the issues arising because of TOXIC PERSONALITIES and TOXIC CULTURE are not less important to anything. And I can say this with confidence that if we do not address this issue in time, this will cover our entire life – personal and professional – and we may see the impact or the effect of it for a long long time to come.
But how would we know that a major part of our challenges and problems are arising out of the presence of TOXIC PERSONALITY or TOXIC CULTURE? So first thing first, here is something we can do to identify whether we have our challenges arising out of TOXIC PERSONALITY or TOXIC CULTURE.
Are you dealing with a Toxic Personality or Toxic Culture?
Take out some time alone, sit in a quiet and undisturbed place and ask the following questions to yourself and listen to the answers carefully :
1) Do I have someone in my life with whom I always find myself tensed or on the edge?
2) Do I have someone in my life whom I actually fear? Literally.
3) Do I have someone in my life whose presence itself forced me to feel devalued, small and worthless?
4) Do I have someone whose words and talks always aim to belittle me – often in the presence of others?
5) Do I have a place where I actually don’t want to go (want to avoid at all cost) or if I have to go there than I want to go back as soon as possible?
6) Do I have someone in my workplace whose toxicity sticks with me – even when I am at home and negatively impacts my performance at work and even my health?
7) Do I have someone in my life who makes sure he/she keeps me always walking on eggshells and being cautious – even in my dreams?
8) Do I know someone who is having someone TOXIC in his/her life but he/she is completely helpless to do anything about it and even when I give my advice or want to get him/her out of that situation, I myself feel completely helpless?
9) Do I have someone who always feels and shows that he/she is superior to me and give a damn to other people’s feelings?
10) do I have someone with whom I cant express myself fully, rather I can’t even express my opinion without risking my own self-respect and dignity?
Well though it’s not an exhaustive list of questions but it is something that came out of my personal encounters while working individually with people. Just ask these questions yourself and listen to the answers carefully. The answers may give you a big surprise.
And if you find an affirmative answer to more than 4 questions above, you may be dealing with a TOXIC PERSONALITY or TOXIC ENVIRONMENT in your life. And if you do, this is the right time to address this issue before it gets too late.
My best wishes.
NOTE: By the way on this coming FEELING FRIDAY we are going to discuss TOXIC and NARCISTIC PERSONALITY in our personal and professional life. Stay tuned for that.